She's Not Me
by ShoefoneWeasley
Summary: Hermione can see the evident unhappiness Ron has with Lavender. But after telling Ron what she thinks, he says the wrong things. After a sit down with Seamus and Dean, true feelings bubble to the surface.


"Ronald Weasley, you are such an… arrogant fool!" I stormed out of the common room and up the stairs to the girls' dorm. I could feel the tears threatening to escape, and I refused to let that jerk see me cry again.

"Real original, Hermione!" I heard him yell to me. "Using Snape's insult against me. How about you use that big head of yours to make your own comebacks!"

I slammed the door behind me as I stepped into my room. None of my roommates were back, so I let the tears flow. Ron and I had been fighting more than usual ever since he began dating Lavender. It was no secret that Lavender didn't like me, that she never liked me, actually. Sharing a dorm with her was torture from year one to year five because she and Parvati would make fun of me, not caring if I heard. They'd laugh at my "frizzy hair" and "frumpy clothes." It angered me, but I ignored it because I had friends like Harry and Ron to keep me sane… somewhat.

But this year, Lavender had changed her nightly talk to all about Ron. "We're so in love… Ronald is just the best person ever… He is such a great kisser…"

Every time she talked of Ron, I wanted to slap her into the next century. She didn't deserve him. I always felt a pang in my chest every time I saw those two together, and I knew that was the reason why. Ron was too good for her, and as his best friend, I could tell he wasn't happy in their relationship.

That was what our argument had been about back in the common room. He'd come in after hanging out with Lavender all afternoon. I stopped studying for our Charms test so I could talk to him. The moment the words left my mouth he became defensive, as if I was the bad person. Words were thrown back and forth, each one worse than the word before it. Finally, Ron said something that threw me off completely.

"I love her, Hermione!"

I was speechless. The pang in my chest hurt even more the moment his words were said. I found my voice again and called him an arrogant fool, thus leading us to this moment. I sat on my bed and began wiping away my tears. If he thought he was really in love with her, so be it. I wasn't going to help him out anymore.

Sighing, I reached into my bag so I could finish studying for our Charms test. After pulling out every book but my Charms one, I realized that I had left it in the common room. With Ron.

Just. Bloody. Great.

I skeptically stood up, wondering if I really needed that book. Obviously I knew everything I needed to know about that test and more. But I had to get my book before someone hid it for fun. I knew how the younger Gryffindors worked. Sighing once more, I was out the door and heading to the common room.

As I descended down the stairs, I hurried back up them the moment I saw Ron was still down there. I peeked around the corner to see him sitting down. By the look of his face, he was thinking very hard about something.

I couldn't go down there with him still there. Not after the fight we'd just had.

I heard the common room door open and saw Dean and Seamus come in laughing. They were dripping wet, so I knew it was either pouring outside or they fell into The Great Lake.

"Hey Ron!" Dean said as they sat on either side of Ron. I knew Seamus could see up the stairs from where he was sitting, so I made sure I was well hidden.

"Hey guys," Ron muttered as he stared at the fireplace.

"What's wrong, mate?" Seamus asked. "I haven't seen you this down since… since… Dean, help me out."

"Uh, since you choked on that vomit flavored Bertie Botts bean last week," Dean said.

Seamus burst out laughing. "Good one. I almost forgot about that."

"I had another fight with Hermione tonight." Even though Ron muttered his words again, I heard perfectly well what he said.

"No surprise there," Dean said. "You two have been arguing on and off a lot here lately. What was it about this time?"

"She told me she could tell I wasn't happy being with Lavender. She said she was only looking out for me because she's my best friend. I told her she should mind her own business and stop trying to look after me. Then I…" Ron shook his head, as though he couldn't believe what he was about to say. "I told her I was in love with Lavender."

The room became so quiet that I could hear my nervous breathing. I tried to calm myself down so I wouldn't be discovered.

"Well?" Seamus asked.

"Well what?"

"Do you love Lavender?"

Ron hung his head in shame and said, "No. No, I don't."

I slowly let out a breath that I wasn't aware I was holding. I knew I was right the whole time!

"I mean I like her," Ron added. "She's fun to hang around. And we… enjoy each other's company…"

"If those are the only reasons you like Lavender, then something is wrong," Dean said as Seamus nodded in agreement. When Ron didn't say anything, he added, "Okay, this should make it easy for you. Tell us what you don't like about her."

Ron looked at his friends. "What? How will that help?"

"By telling us what you don't like about her, you'll appreciate the things you do like about her."

"I still don't get it."

"Dang it, Ron, just focus!" Seamus yelled at him, making Ron jump. "Think hard. What's wrong with Lavender? What about her do you not like?"

Ron's thinking face was back as he stared at the fire. Was it really that hard to think about what he didn't like about her? She was controlling, incredibly jealous, and not to mention, a complete bit—

My attention was brought back to Ron when I saw him pick up a book that was sitting between him and Seamus. It was my Charms book.

He stared at the cover for a moment and then began flipping through the pages. Once he was done, a small smile appeared on his face. "She's not Hermione."

I was frozen in my spot. I knew there was no way I had heard what I thought I heard. Apparently, Dean and Seamus thought the same thing.

"What?" Dean asked him. "What do you mean she's not Hermione?"

As he fiddled with the book in his hands, Ron said, "Hermione is a bit controlling. She has untidy hair, she's a know-it-all, and she talks way too much. And I love her for that.

"Lavender… Lavender just isn't Hermione."

I leaned against the wall and slowly slid down until I was on the floor. It all made sense. I couldn't believe I'd never seen it before. I was the smartest witch of my age, and this had completely gone over my head.

Ron loved me. And I loved him. The whole time I thought my pangs were because I knew Ron wasn't happy with Lavender, but in truth, they were there because of jealousy.

Because I loved him.

I loved Ron Weasley.

I could feel my heart wanting to beat out of my chest. I didn't know if it was from happiness or nerves. At that moment, I wasn't sure I was sure of anything except that I really did love him.

I peeked over the corner to see Dean and Seamus standing up, Seamus patting Ron on the back. "Glad you are finally able to admit it, mate. The whole of Gryffindor has known for years."

"We'll leave you here to think things over," Dean said to him. "We need to go change out of these wet clothes anyway."

"Stupid bi-polar weather," Seamus said. "Wasn't it just sunny yesterday?"

After giving Ron a good luck, they headed up the stairs. Just as I was about to hide back in my dorm, I felt someone grab me by the waist and pull me back. Before I knew it, Dean's hand was over my mouth.

"Ssshhh," Dean whispered. "Don't think you can hide from us, Granger!"

"We know you heard the whole thing," Seamus said quietly. "Go easy on the bugger, will ya?"

I nodded as Dean removed his hand. I couldn't help but smile. These guys were amazing.

Once they were back in their dorms, I took a deep breath and headed down the stairs. The moment Ron saw me, he stood up.

"Hermione!" he said. I knew I really must have startled him. "Uh, what are you doing down here?"

"I left in such a hurry that I forgot to grab my Charms book," I said as I smiled at him.

He quickly picked up my book and handed it to me. I said thank you and began heading up the stairs. Halfway up there, I turned around, looked at Ron, and said, "I'm sorry for accusing you of not being happy with Lavender."

He looked confused for a minute. He wasn't used to me apologizing or admitting I was wrong. "Hey, you don't—"

"But I want to, Ron," I said, going back down the stairs. He stood at the last stair, so I stood a few inches over him. "It was wrong of me to do that. Just know that I care for you Ron, and I only want what's best for you."

Before he could get another word out, I put my hands on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. I let my lips stay there a little longer than I was supposed to, but I wanted him to know just how much he meant to me. I straightened back up and smiled as he touched the spot where my lips had been seconds before.

"Goodnight, Ronald. Sweet dreams." I turned and continued the stairs once more, never turning back around.

As much as I loved Ron and as much as I was sure of it, I would let him decide when and if he truly wanted to come to me. Even if he really loved me just as much, I knew he still had tough decisions to make and I was okay with that. I also knew that he was Ron, and it would be a long time before he would make his final decision. Good thing I had a lot of patience.

FIN


End file.
